Monday, June 28, 2010

Prayers and Praise....And more Prayers?

Ok....Since the week ended I found out that I no longer need to worry. There was a possibility that I might have been pregnant. So of course, I wasn't prepared and I didn't think it was what I needed at this time.

On other news, I sang a song at church yesterday and it was one I'd been wanting to sing for a long time, but I wasn't sure if I could get the key right. I know, I know....It shouldn't matter as long as I am singing for the Lord. Which is very true, but if I'm not going to give it my best, then why am I doing it? I believe that God deserves our best. Yes, it is good when we are at least trying, but God gave us His best after all, so why can't we do the same in return? So, needless to say, I sang my best and despite almost crying a couple times and losing my breath at one point, I believe I gave it my best and the glory goes to God.PRAISE GOD!!!

So, back to the first topic....Baby? Well, when I found out I wasn't pregnant, I was disappointed. I'm thinking, "Wasn't this what I wanted?" And of course, Tanner knew about the possibility, so now we have baby on the brain and it doesn't help that everywhere we go we see newborns. lol So yeah, pray for us. We are thinking of trying, but I still want to be prepared. Our house will be even smaller with a new baby in it. I want there to be room and space for everything first.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Scared and Anxious

So yeah...What am I doing up at 1:37 AM you may ask. I'm not actually sure myself. Been worrying about a lot of stuff lately and one thing in particular. Wish I could divulge some info on the subject, but it's just too personal. Maybe when I know for sure what's going on.

It's just been a hectic life lately. The last thing I need is something else stirring the pot. I know I've been overly stressed, though I'm somewhat relieved now that the Summer is here. Been able to relax a little and find distractions in the activities that go along with all this hot weather.Which by the way, what is up with that? It's been pushing 100 degrees and hardly any rain. Just too damn hot if you ask me. But that's Florida for you. The humidity doesn't help either.

I just wish this week were over and I'd know if my worries are baseless or not. Just pray for me please. Pray that God's will is done in whatever happens. Thanks.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Can't We Just Let It Go?

Just remembered why I have basically become a hermit and stopped going out much. Tired of people misconstruing things that are said or done. I hate confrontation. It just hits me on an emotional level and I end up in tears. I have very few friends that I actually talk to and even fewer family members. If you can't handle something I say in a playful manner, then you don't need to be my friend or my family.

I have been dealing with some people and one in particular that just can't seem to let things go and see that I just want to be a friend. I actually used to have dreams and still do sometimes that me and this person would hang out and have fun. Just like the best of friends, but I am starting to grasp the concept that she will never look at me as a friend.

What makes it even worse, and that I think will clench the possibility of that never happening, is the fact that people are saying that I've said things that I know are not true and I would never say. It almost had me in tears at the thought. I just wish I could publicly go out and set the rumors straight. But it is doubtful that it would do any good and would most likely make a huge spotlight on me and my family.

Why can't everyone just get along, be friends, and let things stay in the past? I hate dwelling on stuff. It's the main reason I have let so much go. Things I still don't have answers for, or at least not tangible truths. But I'm not letting it get in the way of getting to know people or wanting to like them or be friends with them.