Just remembered why I have basically become a hermit and stopped going out much. Tired of people misconstruing things that are said or done. I hate confrontation. It just hits me on an emotional level and I end up in tears. I have very few friends that I actually talk to and even fewer family members. If you can't handle something I say in a playful manner, then you don't need to be my friend or my family.
I have been dealing with some people and one in particular that just can't seem to let things go and see that I just want to be a friend. I actually used to have dreams and still do sometimes that me and this person would hang out and have fun. Just like the best of friends, but I am starting to grasp the concept that she will never look at me as a friend.
What makes it even worse, and that I think will clench the possibility of that never happening, is the fact that people are saying that I've said things that I know are not true and I would never say. It almost had me in tears at the thought. I just wish I could publicly go out and set the rumors straight. But it is doubtful that it would do any good and would most likely make a huge spotlight on me and my family.
Why can't everyone just get along, be friends, and let things stay in the past? I hate dwelling on stuff. It's the main reason I have let so much go. Things I still don't have answers for, or at least not tangible truths. But I'm not letting it get in the way of getting to know people or wanting to like them or be friends with them.